Dear Nicholas | Before We Become Parents | Here Come The Hansens
We have been together now for almost five years, some days I feel like we just left Pensacola and others I feel like we have been in Virginia for ages. The last five years have been amazing and crazy and nothing like I imagined they would be! I never thought I would fall in love and get secretly married after dating someone for only six months. I never thought I'd be pregnant and driving a mom car at 23. But here I am, the happiest I have ever been and it's all because of you.
You never fail to make me laugh and you are so perfectly and ridiculously cheesy that my co-workers say "Gross!" almost every time you call me at work! You always make me feel safe, whether it's by protecting me from creepy people ringing our door-bell in the middle of the night or by driving like a grandpa. You are the first person I want to tell anything and everything to and you are the last person on my mind before I close my eyes every night and I am constantly thinking about how lucky I am to have found my person so early on in life.
I know that you are going to make an amazing dad, there is not a single doubt in mind. I can see it in the way you take care of me (and Chewie, let's not forget how great of a dog dad you are!). I can see it in the way your eyes light up every time we talk about this sweet little baby in my belly. Although I am sooo stinking excited to see you be a dad to this little human we have created, as we approach our last weekend just the two of us (hopefully, I don't know how much longer I can be pregnant), I can't help but feel a little sad.
I am a little sad that life is never going to be the same as it is right now, because I LOVE our life right now! I am a little sad that I won't get to spend all of my time and energy making you smile, although, I promise I will still try. I am a little sad that we won't just get to do whatever we want when we want, going on silly adventures and getting lost has always been our thing. I'm a little sad it won't just be me and you playing Uno every weekend morning for at least an hour, and how many other things will never be the same?
Even though I am a little sad, all those things make me so excited! I can't wait to spend my time and energy making both you and our sweet baby smile! I am so pumped to go on adventures and get lost as a family of four (yes, I am counting Chewie)! I think it will be so fun to deal hand for a little toddler running around, even though he has no idea how to play Uno! It's so exciting to think things will never be the same!
As I sit in the office, quietly crying my eyes out (because pregnancy hormones are no joke) I can't help but think about how lucky I am to have you as my partner, how lucky I am to be walking (more like waddling) into this next adventure with you, and how lucky I am to watch you become a dad. I love you and can't wait to see you hold our baby boy!