I am usually so excited this time of year, I love seeing everyone talk about all of the things they accomplished over the last twelve months, but this year it's been a little bit harder. As I flipped through the goals section of my planner, I realized that I did not accomplish anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that I set out to accomplish. I'm no where near where I wanted to be.
I wanted to do things like.. read one book each month, use my phone less, grow my business, get healthy and feel good about myself. But... I only read four books this year, I still use my phone way too much, I didn't book as many sessions as much as I wanted to, I am no where near my goal weight, and have been feeling really down about myself lately. I looked back and realized I gave up on most of my goals in February, which makes me feel even worse.
Yesterday, as I curled my freshly cut, too short hair trying to make myself feel pretty, I watched tears fall down my chubby cheeks in the mirror. I thought about everything I didn't accomplish and I just lost it, but then Nick walked around the corner with our three month old and my perspective changed a little. I started thinking, did I give up on my goals in February or did my goals change when I found out I was pregnant?
I may have only read four books this year and still use my phone too much, but one those books was about parenting and I used my phone a lot for researching all things baby! I didn't focus as much on my business because I was busy enjoying the pregnancy and Nick and I's last year without a child! I may be twenty pounds heavier, but I gave birth to and continue to feed a healthy baby boy! I may struggle feeling good about myself, but I feel pretty good about how I’m doing as a mother!
This last year has brought so many changes, and 2020 is going to bring so many more (moving to Gulf Coast Mississippi, transitioning to the reserves, and Nick becoming a full time student). So I as I sit here trying to figure out what the heck my goals are going to be for this year, I just want to let you know, it's okay if you aren't where you'd thought you'd be. It's okay if you didn't meet a goal or two. It's okay if your goals changed, because life changes! As you are scrolling past posts and posts of success, remember you are here and you survived 2019! So instead of thinking about all the things that didn’t happen, put your phone down, give yourself some grace, and smile because you’re still awesome!
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the last 12 months, Happy New Year!